Political Science for Dummies

If you don't know me, one thing is for sure...I am a pretty big conservative. Not as big and out politically as some people (E, my husband, or Ashley at the Linares Family) but nonetheless I like a little political humor once in a while...There were actually LOTS MORE examples but I chose only the funniest ones.

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful.

Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.

The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch and drink wine.

Life is good.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You have some vodka.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You have some more vodka.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.

You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.

You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.

They go into hiding.

They send radio tapes of their mooing.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.

Some people vote for both.

Some people vote for neither.

Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.

They make real California cheese.

Only five speak English.

Most are illegals.

Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.